Reflections of You
by CrazyCousinEiko
Summary: Lestrade reminisces about the path he's traveled thus far and the one who has walked by his side.


This can be taken as a part of the "Big City, Small World" series or alone. Whichever you like. ;)

Thanks to Bleeding Crimson, who helped write and edit this piece. You rock meh socks! (as you would say) :P

Enjoy, everyone! :D

)oOo(

_1978, Part I_

Yellow leaves, sweet air, soft rain.

A flash of blue caught my eye. Looking back, I glimpsed you holding a book aloft to shield yourself from the wet as your rounded the corner. The next moment I found myself standing face to face with you under the eaves of the local bread shop as you waited for the light signal to turn. Without thinking I extended my brolly toward you. You hesitated, then accepted it with a shy smile that made my whole body feel warm despite the weather. With a quick nod of your head, you hurried across the street with my umbrella protecting you. I turned around and walked the other way, letting other things occupy my mind.

I should have realized then and there that you were the only thing that ever mattered.

_1978, Part II_

Coloured lights, nippy wind, crunching snow.

I felt a nudge on the arm and turned around to see you cradling a package in your arms.

_Happy Christmas,_ you murmured with a meek smile. I felt an oddly familiar warmth flow through me at the sight. You pressed the parcel in my arms, and I hesitantly took it. Upon unwrapping it: my old, battered brolly. _Why did you...?_ Then I remembered.

_Yellow leaves, sweet air, soft rain._

I turned around to thank you, looking up to see- no one. You were gone.

_1979_

Blooming flowers, fresh breeze, chirping birds.

Music buzzed cheerily out the speakers of a cherry red radio. Buffalo-like clouds sluggishly migrated across the sky. Suddenly, you sprawled onto the grass beside me and looked over with a smile full of sunshine. Your closeness felt so surreal after months of trying to discover your name. After the brolly incident, you seemed to be everywhere –always a flash of blue, the scent of honeysuckles, never within my reach but never quite beyond it, either...

Then suddenly I found you quite involved in my life in what seemed to be a lucky series of accidents (looking back, I realize that there is no such thing). Now here you were less than an arm's length away from me. I drank your image in-

Mousy brown hair. Pale skin. Eyes grey as a stormy sky. Short and slim. Seemingly ordinary, but you were far more than what your appearance first suggested. Why else would my heart beat so fast every time I saw that smile or heard you speak my name?

You offered me part of your lunch, but I declined. Disappointment flashed in those soulful grey eyes, but I missed it. I had eaten already- besides, what sort of gentleman would I be if I ate a woman's food? If I had realized that you had made the meal especially for me, I would have accepted it gladly no matter how much I had eaten before. Soon enough, I would learn that your cooking would be the best I had ever tasted.

Love really is the key ingredient.

_1980, Part I_

Harsh sunlight, Father's cologne, thumping heartbeat.

My hand shook as I reached out and jabbed the doorbell before I could stop myself. I twitched at the loud buzzing. Looking in the window, I quickly ran my hands through my hair one last time. I swallowed and faced the door once more as heavy footsteps approached. I braced myself for the worst.

A man with the same wispy brown hair as his daughter answered the door. He was shorter than I but bulkier, and there was definitely hardened muscle beneath that deceiving layer of fat. His beady eyes gazed fiercely into mine, drilling a hole straight through my brain and out the back of my head. I hoped I wouldn't pass out from sheer nervousness. He called her down with a strong, commanding voice, though there was a gentleness to it, too. However, he continued to glare at me so intensely that I almost began to wonder if he was the one making me melt inside my dress shirt rather than the summer sun. As soon as you appeared, however, all my fears evaporated, leaving your brilliant smile and your cool, soft hand in mine.

Then and there, I knew that you were the one.

_1980, Part II_

Fading daylight, honeysuckle perfume, crunching leaves.

We slowly strolled down the abandoned London side street. Instead of taking shelter when the rain began falling, you begged me to dance with you. Your eyes shone brighter than the light sparkling off the puddles we jumped in. Racing, twirling, slipping and sliding along, we laughed in exhilaration. The world was ours, and there was no one to stand in our way.

Panting, we stopped under a maple tree. Brilliant red leaves shone against the dull greys of the surrounding buildings and cloudy sky. We stood there, motionless, for what seemed like blissful eternity. You slipped your hand, soft as the falling rain, into mine, and I marvelled at the way your delicate fingers laced perfectly with my own rough ones. Slowly, gently, I drew you toward me and wrapped my arms around you. I bent my head down to whisper in your ear when your rose-petal lips lightly brushed mine. Your familiar warmth coursed through my veins, making me feel...

_Alive._

That moment I realized that magic was real.

_1981_

Dim and flickering lights, stagnant atmosphere, bored sighs.

Before the bell even finished ringing, I sprinted out of the classroom and down the hall. My friends shook their heads and laughed, but I didn't much care at the moment. I had a plan, and nothing was going to stop me from executing it.

I barely paused in my dorm room to pick up the box of chocolates I had bought a few days previously before dashing off again. Eager and panting, I scoured the flower stand for the perfect bouquet. _Tulips, roses, lilies_... There were so many choices! I bit my lip in frustration–

Who knew that picking flowers would be so difficult?

Taking a deep breath, I fought down the urge to panic. I was training to be in Scotland Yard- surely this was nothing compared to what I'd face on the streets. Thankfully, a kindly woman -a Mrs. Hudson, I believe- saw my predicament and helped choose a bouquet suitable for you, my beloved. Armed with chocolates and flowers, I sped as quickly as I could to your place, careful to keep the bouquet nice. Grinning like an idiot, I knocked on your door.

It opened to reveal you in a robe and pyjamas, your hair dishevelled and nose redder than Rudolph's. You coughed into a tissue and looked sleepily at me. After blinking several times in confusion, a look of realization spread across your features. Before you could apologize, I helped you back inside and set about making tea. By now I knew your flat even better than my dorm. After getting a vase for the flowers and setting the chocolates on the shelf, I walked over to hand you your cuppa. When I reached you, however, you had already fallen asleep. Smiling, I covered you with a blanket and kissed you on the forehead.

_Happy Valentine's, my love._

Later, after I left you sleeping in your own bed –for I knew what a crick you'd get in your neck if you slept on the couch– I remembered: I had forgotten a card. Of all the things that I could have done, how could I forget a _card_! What kind of boyfriend does such a thing? I swore to not only get you a card but to write a get-well message in it, too.

I didn't realize it fully back then, but when two people love each other like we did, they're always ready to forgive the unforgivable.

_1983_

Early dusk, cotton-candy breeze, carnival music

My hands were shaking with nervousness. I made sure to stuff them into my pockets so you couldn't see them. _Breathe in, breathe out._ We were at the fair that came around every so often, for you always enjoyed all the lights and the festivities. You especially loved watching all the different people walk by– one of your favourite things to do was sit and guess everything you could about a person, making up stories of their lives. I loved just listening to you talk about these strangers as if you knew them, your head and hand over my heart as we sat next to each other.

I nudged you a bit, a secret smile on my face, and nodded toward the Ferris Wheel. It was always your favourite attraction- you loved watching the sunset on one whenever you got the chance. You laughed and gave me a smile that made all the nervousness melt away.

This was the best choice of my life; I was absolutely sure of it.

You pulled me through the crowd, dancing your way around the stagnant people. People always seemed lifeless next to you. You brought colour and vibrancy into my life where it had only been drab tones before. I was surer and surer of my decision as we drew closer and closer to the ginormous wheel. That line, was one of the longest I've ever been in, I think. It seemed like forever before we got onto the actual ride. An inconspicuous nod at the operator. A quick glance at the sky. I smiled. This was going to be perfect. My hands started to shake again, though this time it was from anticipation rather than nerves.

The wheel went up and around and up again before stopping, our car at the zenith of the great circle. I chuckled a bit at your excitement at being stopped at the very top; apparently it had never happened to you before now. As you looked out at the slowly sinking sun, I quietly bent down behind you.

_I hope no one is too mad we've been stopped for so long._

I cleared my throat and you turned around, your smile dropping when you took in my pose; bended knee, arms outstretched, and a small, black, velvet box extended. My heart sunk when that gorgeous smile disappeared– maybe it wasn't such a great idea. But I couldn't back down now. I would never get up the courage to help people if I were a pansy at a moment like _this_.

"I love you, with every fibre of my being, with every beat of my heart, with every inhale and exhale of my lungs, with every thought in my mind. If I had to live without you, well, I wouldn't be alive. You _make_ me alive_-_ you bring colour into my world." I opened my arms wide. "You _are_ my world. Will you do me the honour of marrying me... perhaps?"

There was a pause… that _dreaded_ pause that always comes after a long speech like that. I didn't even know I could wax poetic. I hoped it wasn't too sappy; I wasn't normally one for that. The silence dragged on, and all I heard was my heartbeat in my ears and the wind lazily passing through the wheel. Nothing from you. Not a sound. You were frozen. The sun setting behind you gave you the most beautiful glow, and then you said that one little word...

_Yes._

_1984_

Bright sunshine, salty air, crashing waves.

You looked over at me with that warm smile I so loved. You slipped your hand, soft as the autumn rain, into mine. Said the words I'd always wanted to hear without even realizing that I'd been waiting all my life to hear them. The tightness and itchiness of the suit and the expectant stares of the onlookers faded away in your brightness. This was our moment.

As I felt your warmth surge through me, I wished it could last forever.

_1995_

Harsh lamplight, crisp chill, heavy raindrops.

A kiss on the cheek as you said goodbye. Leaning out of the cab window, you flashed me that sweet smile that so easily chased away the cold, just as it always had. I waved and watched you leave. Suddenly, a horrible screech. The crunching of metal. Red and black and grey all mixing, all dying, all flowing uselessly down the gutter into a street drain.

The darkness and rain grew stronger, obscuring my tears.

_2010_

Yellow leaves, sweet air, soft rain.

I kneel down, the gold carpet crunching softly beneath my weight, and caress the weathered stone. I know each crevice, each worn edge by heart. I miss the feel of your hands, soft as the autumn rain, and that smile, brighter and warmer than the summer sun. I miss spring picnics and winter walks, summer hols and autumn baking. I miss the life you brought to each season, each day of our life together.

Fifteen years is too long a time to grieve. Forgive me, my love- you are simply too dear to me to part with so easily.

After three decades, I've finally come to realize that you were all that mattered.

)oOo(

I love the band Trading Yesterday. I played their songs endlessly while writing this. They are amazing. You should listen.

If anyone can guess any one of the movies that I used as inspiration (especially of the first scene), I'll give you a cameo appearance in my one of my other fics! However, in order to guess, you need to review, so please review! ;)

On a more serious note, this is a new style that I doubt I'll be able to use again without some serious help/inspiration/muse juice, so please let me know what I can do to improve this and my writing style overall as well as tell me what worked.

**EDIT**: A wonderful friend on deviantArt painted a gorgeous illustration to go along with this! Here's the link! If you have an account, comment and fave! She deserves it! .com/art/AT-Reflections-of-you-277978923

Thanks, everyone! :D


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